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Why Can’t I Get A Girlfriend? 25 Mistakes To Lose Your Chance

by Arkin Ruud September 1, 2021

Most men who want a girl, but can’t, tend to point the finger at women. I understand, it’s easy. Hell, I do the same thing when it comes to men. I’m sorry to tell you, but in the end it’s you.

No, it’s not that women are blind or don’t like Nice Guys – we have eyes. We know. But of course there is something that doesn’t stick to women very well. It can be something small: you open your mouth or yell at older women crossing the street.

You know, little things. But those things can be changed, and with a little work, you’ll be able to ditch the “why can’t i get a girlfriend” story and get some solid dates.

Are you wondering why you can’t have a girlfriend and what you can do to finally find a girlfriend?

In this article, I’ll show you why it’s so hard for you to have a girlfriend and give you a simple piece of advice you can implement right away to make getting a girlfriend even easier.

Table Of Contents
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How To Stop Thinking “Why” Can't I Get A Girlfriend
1. In Fact, You're Not Even Trying.
2. You Want The Perfect Young Lady.
3. You're Not Independent.
4. If You Get Rejected, Leave.
5. Mr. Good Boy.
6. It's All Up To You.
7. You Need A Shower.
8. You're Embarrassed.
9. You're The Shy Guy In Your Group.
10. You Want Me To Take The First Step.
11. You Don't Know How To Balance Work And Play.
12. Stay Home And Play Video Games On Friday Night.
13. You Don't Show That You Like Her.
14. You Have Built An Emotional Wall.
15. You Want To Have A Perfect Life Before You Have A Girlfriend.
16. There Are Wrong Places To Find Women.
17. You Are An Excessive Thinker.
18. She's The Wrong Girl.
19. You Move Things Too Fast.
20. You Think You're Special.
21. Shit Social Skills
22. Everyone Is The Problem.
23. You Haven't Done Anything For Yourself.
24. You Don't Care About Women.
25. You're Boring.
People Also Questions

How To Stop Thinking “Why” Can't I Get A Girlfriend

Why Can't I Get A Girlfriend
photo via: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez



So, have you already received my message? It’s not the women. You just have to start looking at yourself. It’s very difficult for some people, but if you want to stop asking me “why can’t i get a girlfriend” then you have no choice.

1. In Fact, You're Not Even Trying.

If you complain about not having a girlfriend, but spend your time not getting close to women, well, what do you want me to tell you truthfully? That one day a girl will come over and give you her hand in marriage? If you don’t try, well, this is your first problem.

2. You Want The Perfect Young Lady.

photo via: Unsplash / Freestocks

Yes, and I want a young lady, but I can’t wait for that to happen, right? Exactly. I know you want this sexy girl with perfect breasts, a juicy ass, and a personality to die for.

There may be, I’m not saying no, but it’s a rare find. Why aren’t you looking for someone instead? You know, someone with flaws because you’re not the perfect gentleman.

3. You're Not Independent.

It’s good to live with your parents, I mean, still alive. However, at some point, let’s say you are 30, you will want to diversify on your own.

Why? Because it is a sign of growth that women find very attractive … unless you are Italian, you can live with your parents until you die.

4. If You Get Rejected, Leave.




Rejection is part of life. You have probably been denied a job or college that you would like to study. This is also rejection. It has happened to you before, so being rejected by a woman isn’t much different.

But your mistake is to take it personally and allow it to stop you from talking to other women. This is the question. You have to take it like a bump and keep driving.

5. Mr. Good Boy.

photo via: Unsplash / JD Chow

Being a good person is a good thing. It may sound silly, but women don’t want someone who is too cute.

We perceive them as weak. We want you to be kind, but we also want you to have the courage and be able to stand up for you and us. Kindness is good, but being picky isn’t.

6. It's All Up To You. 

When you talk to someone, do you find yourself thinking about how good your story is going so far? In reality, people won’t remember a story that isn’t about them.

You might think this is a good thing, but it leads to you being boring and the people around us becoming bored with your inability to have an honest conversation.

7. You Need A Shower.




You smell … of physical odor. Take a shower, use some soap, cut your hair – you know, clean up.

I would like to try it first and see how things go. Maybe it was just a little hygiene problem. Solve yourself and you are ready.

8. You're Embarrassed.

If you’re worried about looking stupid or saying something stupid, well, you’re missing out on talking to that cute blonde over there.

We are all aware of ourselves, so what? Will you let all the girls go through your hairline?

9. You're The Shy Guy In Your Group.

photo via: Unsplash / Matheus Ferrero

You can be the shy guy in your group of friends. Which isn’t a bad thing, but unless a girl is more aggressive, you probably won’t talk to her.

This is a problem. If you are shy, at least try to talk a little to get something.

10. You Want Me To Take The First Step.




Yes, what a dream would that be, right? Some girls have no problem taking the first step, however, many let the guy do the work. If she doesn’t take the first step, you’ll have to do it. You get used to it.

11. You Don't Know How To Balance Work And Play.

Your problem may simply be that you are always on the market when you are on a date. It could be the arrest, believe me.

You need to have a balance between your work and your personal life, because no girl wants to be second to a cell phone.

12. Stay Home And Play Video Games On Friday Night.

photo via: Unsplash / Kelly Sikkema

Video games are fun, but you won’t find the love of your life playing WOW alone. Going out with your friends, it’s the only way to meet new people.

Go to parties at home, go to clubs, make an effort to go out and meet new people.

13. You Don't Show That You Like Her.

Maybe you really like him, however, you’ve never told him. So now you two are really good friends.




Yay! Well, if you want a girl to understand that you are interested in her, you will have to prove it. That, or you risk being in the friend zone.

14. You Have Built An Emotional Wall.

You have been hurt in the past, or you are inexperienced, so now you have built this giant wall.

If you want to have a girlfriend, you have to drop the barrier. Is it scary? Of course. But you have to do it if you want something real.

15. You Want To Have A Perfect Life Before You Have A Girlfriend.

photo via: Freepik / Teksomolika

You want the house, the car, the fantastic job … I get that. But if you wait for these things to happen before you have a girlfriend, it won’t work. You can’t try to plan life as it happens.

16. There Are Wrong Places To Find Women.

If you go to a men’s-only gym, you probably won’t find the woman of your dreams there.

You have to go to some places where she will be the kind of woman you want. If you want someone athletic, go for walks, swim or take sports lessons.

17. You Are An Excessive Thinker.




We are not all? I mean, there isn’t a single person I know who doesn’t think much about something.

What you need to do is redirect your thoughts and not be obsessed with finding a girl. Or all you will find are the wrong women.

18. She's The Wrong Girl.

You’re looking for the wrong kind of girl.

You have this picture of a dick, but in the end that’s not what you really need. Sit down and find out what you really want in a woman, then go out and find her.

19. You Move Things Too Fast.

photo via: Freepik / Mego-studio

Oh, you liked it. Do you really like it? You want that second date tomorrow and then you want me to meet her mother on Saturday. Wow … calm down there.

You want it all, but you want it too fast. You’re scaring her. You’re really scaring her. So turn the level down and go with the flow.

20. You Think You're Special.




You are not special. Sure, you can have a six-pack or a pretty face, but who cares?

Do you think you are the only one? We all have abdominal muscles, we have outdone ourselves. All this “I’m special” attitude is literally impressing women in your presence.

21. Shit Social Skills

Yeah right, you have shit social skills. Maybe you’re just an idiot, but the question is, why would she spend an ounce of her time with you if you treat her like shit? Encourage me, guys.

22. Everyone Is The Problem.

photo via: Freepik / Gpointstudio

You can’t have a girlfriend because she’s everyone’s fault but yours. Sure, it looks small, but it spills over into other areas of your life.

You have to take responsibility for yourself. Who wants to date a guy who blames everyone else?

23. You Haven't Done Anything For Yourself.

We women don’t need you to go to college or run a marathon because of us. We want to see if the guy you’re interested in does things by himself.




If we don’t see someone growing as a person, we have no interest in getting involved. You seem to be unmotivated and disrespectful to yourself.

24. You Don't Care About Women.

photo via: Unsplash / Everton Vila

Not a bad thing, I mean, unless you hate women … It’s something different.

I suggest therapy. This could simply mean that you have been hurt in the past and are now numb or not ready. But if you don’t care about women, that’s a good reason not to have a girlfriend.

25. You're Boring.

If your only hobby is washing the car or looking in the mirror. Find a hobby. Read a book or watch a movie – do something you can talk about. If you are boring, no one will want to be with you.

Now I don’t want to hear you say “why can’t I have a girlfriend” anymore! Read the list, apply some elbow grease and find out what happens.

The Bottom Line

If you are trying to figure out why you can’t get a girlfriend, it is because you are not taking the steps that are needed in order to actually understand how to get women these days.




You need to stop and think about the facts that are at play here for what they really are.

Take a look through these tips and pointers and see how many of them apply to you.

Take action to change the attributes you need to in order to find the girl of your dreams. Open your mind and understand that there will be a bit of trial and error involved.

However, when all is said and done, you will overcome your personal obstacles and get the woman that you deserve.

Believe in yourself and the rest will follow!

People Also Questions

What to do if you can't find a girlfriend?

Over the past 3 years I have read a lot of tips: – Get out more, do a hobby and go to a place where you can meet a lot of girls. – Practice talking to girls often and be more open. – Stop actively looking for a girl and live your life with passion. – Dress better, take care of yourself, take care of yourself.

What is the percentage of people who never find a girl?




(She’s gone too, she admits.) Spivey has plenty of company in his frustration and her loneliness. Just over half of Americans ages 18 to 34 – 51 percent of them – said they don’t have a steady love partner, according to General Social Survey data released this week.

How many people never have a girlfriend?

A survey by the National Institute for Population and Social Security Research revealed that 61.4% of single men between the ages of 18 and 34 do not have a girlfriend and that 49% of single women of the same age group do not have a girlfriend.

Aren't shy guys attractive?

But a shy guy isn’t attractive. This is because he himself will not make friends. Even if someone comes to him, he will surely respond to him, but in a particular way that is not really intended by the person.

What does it mean if a guy has never had a girlfriend?

A guy who has never had a girlfriend before isn’t necessarily “bad” to girls. He may have personal problems and insecurities or have focused on other things in his girlfriendless years, but there is also a good chance that he has had many women in his life as friends.

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